When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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