What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I will pee on everything he values.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
