You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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