He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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