new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
