Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
