i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
