I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize