i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I AM VODKA MAN
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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