Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
