so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Quick, to the slutcave!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
