I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
