Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
