im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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