We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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