lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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