he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
bring money and cleavage
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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