Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
