We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
