Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
