You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
