is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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