its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
MIDGETS
????
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize