YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
