And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
