we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
