I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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