She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
