alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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