A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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