I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
