yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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