I love black thongs
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize