Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
