i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
