i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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