are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
