We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
