farters have to be the big spoon...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
