do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
