More tranny stories later!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
