Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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