Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
