I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
