I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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