..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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