school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
