a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
