I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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