we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
