i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
