if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize