idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
