How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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