problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
