True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
