Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize