Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize