your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
