just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize