I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
