Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
