I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
