Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
