Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
