I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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