so explain again why im purple
no
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
